Oz
by Feana Puddlefoot
Summary: UPDATED! Weird couplings ahoy. Both slash and het couples can be found here. Last chapter's couple was Eowyn/Haldir. Chapter three has been added and it is a Arwen/Boromir romance with hints of Aragorn/Arwen.
1. Dementia: Legolas and Pippin

Dementia   
Part of the Oz series 

written by Lilac. 

Dsclmr: Any characters featured in this fanfic do not belong to me. I'm just borrowing them. 

A/N: This is a big change for me. There were only so many places I could take humor, I'm afraid. I will still do some humor fics, of course, but most of my time will be spent on this. Yes, this is an ongoing series - featuring different couples each chapter, and generally being demented and weird. There will be a bit of S&M, and this is rated R for a reason, folks. Anyway, the first bizaare little couple is Pippin/Legolas. If you have any problems with that, please leave. Flames will be used as tawdry entertainment. 

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Rabid. Primal. Instinctive, perhaps. Pippin wasn't as innocent as he looked. His big eyes betrayed his true self. For Pippin was dark and basic. Of course, not many knew this, least of all the object of Pippin's lust - Legolas. Pippin had an unhealthy obsession with the delicate elf. And these obsessions tormented him when it became dark. They filled his dreams - and his nightmares. Taunting him, teasing him, filling every inch of his mind. 

He had snapped. 

Pippin couldn't simply sit by and watch Legolas slip out of his hands. Pippin wanted Legolas. Not forever, no. But just for one night - Pippin was prepared to pay dearly for one night of simple passion with the beautiful elf. He was determinded. He could not let these cravings torment him any more. No. HE came to a decision. In a few nights, Legolas would be his. No, tomorrow night. 

No. Tonight. It had to be soon. As soon as possible. 

And so, Pippin let these desires coil around his mind, and he sunk into deep thought. There were many things to think about, after all. How could he get Legolas to agree? For Pippin wasn't prepared to force the matter. Was he? It didn't bare thinking about. What did it matter, anyway? Legolas would agree. Pippin had to admit - he was very persuasive when he wanted to be. And this was when he needed that talent of his the most. 

"Pippin?" 

Pippin looked up, quickly. He knew that voice. A soft spoken, gentle, peaceful voice. Legolas. His toy. 

"Legolas!" Pippin smiled, reverting back to his facade of playfulness and innocence. "I was just thinking-" 

But Legolas cut him off, frowning slightly. "Not now, Pippin. Have you seen Aragorn?" 

Legolas frowning? Pippin knew something had to be wrong. Legolas didn't frown. Not unless something was wrong, of course. And what was so important about Aragorn anyway? He wasn't anything special. Pippin growled internally. "Aragorn? I haven't seen him. What do you need him for?" 

"Lover's spat," Legolas smiled faintly. After a few seconds of utter silence, he realized his slip of the tongue. More silence. And more. Legolas decided to break the tension. "So, you haven't seen him then?" it was an awkward attempt to change the subject. Pippin still said nothing, feeling numb. So this was how it would have to be, then. 

In a few moments of panic, and confusion, Pippin's small frame was pinning Legolas against the wall. It was pushed away with Legolas' stronger force immediatedly. Pippin's fist connected with Legolas' face, and knocked him away. This was followed up swiftly by a rusty blade jammed up against Legolas' neck. Time stood still for a few moments as Legolas realized what was happening. 

"Pippin- wha-" Legolas stammered, before Pippin pushed his lips against Legolas' forecfully. The knife's cool blade was still held against Legolas' throat. As Pippin pulled away, he moved the knife to Legolas' wrist and calmly cut it. It was only a small cut, but a faint trickle of red graced Legolas' skin. Pippin smiled at the sight and whispered into Legolas' ear, 

"Remember me, my darling. My angel. My toy." 

Legolas was left staring at his wrist and trying to make sense of what had just happened as Pippin left him to his thoughts.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Memory: Eowyn and Haldir

Memory: Eowyn/Haldir coupling   
Part of the Oz series 

Written by Lilac. 

Dsclmr: Characters: not mine. LOTR: not mine. *sigh* I hate doing disclaimers.   
A/N: … what? I said Oz would have weird couples! Maybe Eowyn/Haldir is a bit mad, yes, but originality is a virtue. Also, this chapter does end rather suddenly. You may decide on your own ending. :) Flames will still be used as tawdry entertainment. 

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Rays of light shone across Eowyn's face. It was morning. Eowyn stirred slightly, brushing golden hair out of her face and stretching. She racked her brain searching for any memory of anything that had happened last night. There were faint blurs and swift flashes but nothing clear, nothing that could hold any valid information. 

Her ears picked up a low sigh. Nearby. Eowyn froze. She didn't dare turn her head to find the source of the sigh, for fear of what she would find. Instead she simply lay there, waiting for the owner of the sigh to move first. But they didn't, for perhaps they were either asleep or as scared as she. 

Eowyn was an impatient being, and gave in to curiosity. She turned to look at her bedfellow. They had broad shoulders, elven ears… 

Haldir. 

Eowyn's eyes widened at the sight. Her hand flew to her mouth to try and silence her rather loud gasp. Haldir sturred at the sound. Eowyn leaned away from the elf, biting her lip. Haldir. Haldir. Eowyn had never felt any attraction Haldir … had she? Why was she in bed with him? Eowyn blushed as the memories of the night before came seeping back into her mind. 

Blinking from the brightness of the morning sun, Eowyn lodged herself out of bed and drew a heavy fabric over the window, restoring a relieving darkness to the room. Eowyn was hesitant to return to the bed, next to Haldir but as it was far too early to get up, she did so. As Eowyn slid back into the bed, Haldir stirred again, and this time his eyes slowly fluttered open. Eowyn was still, not wanting to say anything. She contemplated closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep, but Haldir had already seen her. 

"Eowyn?" 

Eowyn let out her breath quietly and answered, "I'm awake." 

Haldir ran a hand through his tousled hair. "What? … what happened? I don't remember much about last night…" 

Eowyn wasn't sure whether to inform him of what she had remembered or fake any knowledge whatsoever. Finally, she decided on faking knowledge. It would be far less embarassing for both of them. "Me neither. My memory of last night has gone." 

Both were silent.   
  
  
  
  



	3. Fruits: Boromir and Arwen

Fruits: Boromir/Arwen   
Part of the Oz series. 

Written by Lilac. 

Dsclmr: Not mine. Never will be.   
A/N: The couples are getting stranger and stranger. Turn away now if either smut, or the Arwen/Boromir couple offends you. Flames are still being used as tawdry entertainment. This is written mostly dialogue, so it's a little more suggestive. And yes, this is rather short. 

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Visitors were not always welcome. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Boromir bowed, and looked at Arwen cautiously. "I came to talk." There was a glint in his eye, the nature of which Arwen could not make out. 

"About Aragorn?" Arwen sighed, for this had been a constant of their conversations recently. 

"No." 

Arwen now became more interested. "What did you wish to discuss then, Boromir?" she leaned back in her chair and smiled slightly, setting Boromir a little more at ease with her. 

"I will be leaving soon, as you know," Boromir began. "And this affair has to stop now." 

A hesitant sigh from the dark haired elf. 

"Aragorn loves you, and I'm assuming you love him too-" 

"Of course I do!" Arwen cut him off. "I love Aragorn very much…" her words dwindled away as she was given a pointed look from Boromir, reminding her of her situation with him. "I do love him, Boromir." 

"Yes, and that is why this affair must end." Boromir sat beside Arwen and covered her delicate hand with hers. "You and I both know that ending this is the right thing to do." 

Arwen paused, thinking about his words. She leaned over towards Boromir and gave him a soft kiss. "I am very fond of you, Boromir," she whispered, her lips still near to his, her breath tickling his mouth. "You must know that. And my times with you have been special." 

Boromir's hands reached up to caress Arwen's dark tresses. "I am fond of you too." He twined a lock of her hair around his fingers and laid a light kiss upon her cheek. "You have comforted me in hard times, and for that I am most grateful." 

Another sigh from the elf. "But … you're right, now this must end. Before Aragorn finds out." 

"He would be very hurt by this." 

"He would," Arwen agreed. "He would, and I would rather die than have him feel such pain." Her fingers twined around Boromir's and she gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "I am sure you feel much the same." 

Boromir simply laid another kiss upon Arwen's lips, then stood up. "Do not forget me, Evenstar." He left quickly, without waiting for Arwen's answer. The door clicked shut quietly, leaving Arwen to herself. 

"… I won't." 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
